I am leaving for an extended bike tour tomorrow, and my heart is heavy with the actions of others around me. I have allowed them to rent space in my head, and my heart, for far too long. Why? My own ego. In my huberus, I assumed that others could see me as I see myself. They could feel the pain of the loss of my wife the way that I feel the pain. Terribly foolish of me.
In truth, family and friends have their own egos, wrapped up in their own affairs, and soon after an event, will spin willy nilly back off into the orbits of their own lives. Just as I have done.
Don't get me wrong, rude is rude, and heartless uncompassionate actions against an already injured person is about the lowest form of cowardice I can imagine. So to those persons I say this, enjoy your lives. Be healthy, prosperous, I wish you the best. I just need you to remove yourselves from the orbiting bits of mortality that comprise my life.
On a lighter note, I will have a traveling companion for my ride. We met at Office Depot, and have ridden a few times together. A willing model for photos, knows when to shut up and just pedal, never gripes about the weather, and one helluva bike mechanic. I'll have picks after the tour.