Thursday, December 31, 2009

Corpus continuome

Put your hands in the ashes. Feel them. Really let the tips of your fingers feel the tiny bits, the grains that the fire did not destroy, and let the questions flow from there. The little bits are the questions, left unasked, the anger left unexpressed, the love left unsaid, the wine left in a glass half......................................................

My love for all my friends, family, and life in general has never been greater. There is but one shining point that outweighs all other, that my dear brother has found the one. That all is in vain is ridiculous. That eventually, even statistically, good happens. Keep the fire burning, believe in the best, prepare for the worst, and love all that happens betwixt.

Question authority, wonder why a jew is the focal point for christians, and never back down if you really believe in your reasoning. Buddha is fat and a liar, and he laughs at that very fact.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


Wouldn't you think if a guy put his name to ride he would show up for it? Where the hell were ya? You're going to let a 48 year old man and a 52 year old woman beat your asses down? Where are all the coffee shop bikers? The spandex and carbon boys? Watching the Tour de Drugs on DVD and listening to your arteries hardening? Fags.

On a high note, shoes were the topic of the night. There was this insanely hot young lass,
Hot looks, hot shoes, good vibes. And there was this,
And this,

Friday, December 25, 2009

So, if you really believe a guy could live in the belly of a fish for three days, oh wait, you say that part is not to be taken literally? Well then how do you decide what is true, and what is fable? Remember, Jesus was not a christian, he was a jew, so if you really want to follow Jesus, you need to convert to Judaism now.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Rock out with your ...........

Let it end already. After the Winter solstice, let's concentrate on one thing and one thing only, SPRING! The days are getting longer, there is a warm breeze a blowin in my heart, Santa has distributed his largess to all the good little booger pickers and is in need of some serious R&R. One more person says "Merry Christmas" to me and I'm gonna say it like it is, hollow, pointless, empty, watching from the outside as all the good little christians battle it out over parking, material items, and generally loose all sense of courtesy and caring. Rumour is that 26th of December holds an alleycat. Go to the site to find out more, and February will have a hip breaker starting at your's truly's house and lapping the Myrick park area with mandatory hot food and drinks. Broken bones, bent frames and chipped teeth shall abound.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Happy Displaced Indigenous People's Day. Enjoy Satan's Friday. Buy a bunch of crap, give it to people on December 25th. Live the lie, eat, drink, smoke, watch TV, thank a cop for looking out for your best interests.
Once things settle down a bit, check here for an update.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Downturn in economy overcome at CX event

Employment oppurtunities abound in this seasons cyclocross track design, again remember to dress for success and cross dress. Just remember to bring a big pair.

In other news, green technology has enabled the recycling and direct marketing of used douche bottles to douche bags. Uniball has sponsored the first release of these items, and they sport his signature color scheme. Please, as an act of public service and in the interest of universal harmony, if someone you know considers this cool, hurt them. Not alot, just enough to shock them back to reality.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A good all was had by time, and no brakes

Somebody, somewhere, did something, anonymously, and we um, I mean, these bike riders showed up all in the same place at the same time, brakes and lights optional, and rode around town on an alley cat style scavenger hunt. First I know of for our town, and an exciting way to spend the evening. Highlights included cemetary gravestone reading, creepy churches, and old hospital buildings. Most memorable moment, bombing north in the southbound lane of Mormon Coulee into traffic with no lights, and hooking a louie in time at the DNR facility and grave orama.
Future rides can be seen at Thanksgiving, Xmas lights, and an ice crusher in February could, possibly be in the works. But it's all unsubstantiated rumerage for now.
With winter quickly approaching, it's time to get out the Lake boots, sharpen the spikes and contemplate broken hips. Rock on. Here is a teaser -
Oh by the way, my three day bike tour went like this : cold, rainy, muddy, miserable, fun as hell. That was the first day. Just repeat. Got in two overnighters to Perrot as well, minimalist. Tarp, sleeping bag, cup & spoon. Boogey children. Good stuff.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Causality, ain't that a bitch.

I am leaving for an extended bike tour tomorrow, and my heart is heavy with the actions of others around me. I have allowed them to rent space in my head, and my heart, for far too long. Why? My own ego. In my huberus, I assumed that others could see me as I see myself. They could feel the pain of the loss of my wife the way that I feel the pain. Terribly foolish of me.

In truth, family and friends have their own egos, wrapped up in their own affairs, and soon after an event, will spin willy nilly back off into the orbits of their own lives. Just as I have done.

Don't get me wrong, rude is rude, and heartless uncompassionate actions against an already injured person is about the lowest form of cowardice I can imagine. So to those persons I say this, enjoy your lives. Be healthy, prosperous, I wish you the best. I just need you to remove yourselves from the orbiting bits of mortality that comprise my life.

On a lighter note, I will have a traveling companion for my ride. We met at Office Depot, and have ridden a few times together. A willing model for photos, knows when to shut up and just pedal, never gripes about the weather, and one helluva bike mechanic. I'll have picks after the tour.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I think I need to go food shopping today. Good lookin woman stabbed her man with a spork. That's pretty raw.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Life and art are one.......

Out of bad, man can creat good. Witness the gift of music, written by an artist inspired by a theif.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

- is one helluva commitment move.

Fall is in the air, the heat and humidity have abated. This is the week on the other end of Summer where things are disturbingly perfect weather wise. And so, a camping one must go. No reservations, just roll up and take potluck. Hurray for chance.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Douchebag of the Universe Winners are in.........

Congratulations to Josh Bentzen and Marissa Overby for winning the intergalactic "Douchebag of the Universe (of the Year {Planetary Earth Solar}) Awards. They qualified for the award by stealing bicycles from their "friends", Josh and Paul from Bikes Limited. A special second award goes to Josh, for spraypainting an expensive custom frame with a rattle can, deluxe appliance white. As their reward, they will receive free lodging and three meals a day provided by the La Crosse Sheriff"s Hotel.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Why did the raccoon cross the road?

He didn't. Place rimshot here. But seriously folks, how about technology these days? Something I realized today on my ride to work is that just because a person is standing on the sidewalk, waving their arms and having an animated conversation with nothing does not necessarily infer that their ballon has come untetherd. As I rode closer, the person continued their bizare behaviour, right close to where I must pass. What's the first rule we all ignore about crazy street people? Yep, "Don't make eye contact!". Well, I had to at least look. Relief ran through me like a warm emetic. Bluetooth headset, safe. Zip, and I was past. Event for the day I suppose.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The grass is always greener, the snow whiter, the....

What is it about the heat and humidity of August that makes one yearn for the tranquility of December? What is it about the last week of February that makes May seem so sweet it must be ephemeral?The human condition of wanting more, never satisfied, wishing.

Along these lines, how about memories of the past? The mind tries to clean things up a bit, to heal wounds, to leave only the pleasant. Lest we fling ourselves collectively over a cliff. A girlfriend from the past contacted me and wanted to "catch up" on life since last we saw each other. I was sorely tempted, and thought initially about the good. Then I remembered the emotional pain, confusion, and self doubt she caused in me as she flew from boyfriend to boyfriend, coming back to me to roost awhile before her next flight. On reflection, the memories of that time were of a cheating, cruel girl that kept me down to keep me. Screw the past, Joan Cusack nailed it when she said "Reunions are just like High School, only everyone is older and fatter". Move forward.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Could we be a hateful, war mongering, rascist nation?

At 47 minutes, it is a stretch for attention spans, but it is a powerful message. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy more freedoms and privileges in this country than most. I want to keep it that way, and maybe even improve on it. Fear the extreme on either side of the balance beam.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Way to go WIDOT!

Well will wonders never cease? Looky what the DOT did just for us lil ol' pedestrians and bicyclists. This is without a doubt the most forward thinking action I have ever seen on the part of either the local city builders, or the state. A special double thick "atta boy" to whoever is responsible. Thank you.

In other news, a cool car was seen, captured, photographed and released by me this morning. I roped it by the front wheels and tied it off to my bike. It was very docile, smelled clean, was not aggressive. Possibly a new adaptation by nature to changing environmental conditions. The ever present parasitic being was not present in the front area, but I'm sure a change to symbiosis is in the works. Compare and contrast to the normal vehicles seen in this area.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The face of La Crosse

has broken out in a rash of orange pimples. They appear in the road every Spring and Summer. Busy little city engineers scrape and cut and redo, and reredo, and undo the roadways until they clear up the little orange cone pimples that corral, and herd, and clog the flow of traffic. Oh, and let me just add 90 degree weather, humidity, and thunderstorms to the situation.

And here is the payoff for the biking community, pissed off drivers looking for a target for their vengeance. I got flipped off today while commuting in the bike lane on Hwy 16 by a driver stopped dead in a jam. Hardy hardy frickin har on you in your insular, air conditioned, stereo playing pod of security. Funnier still, the road crew apparently thinks the bike lane is a great storage area for their orange pimple cones at the day's end.

It's a small town, with a lot of charm. Sometimes though, the lack of a more urban mentality can really wear me down. Madison, progressive, bike friendly, great infrastructure. La Crosse, angry redneck peckerwoods that love their beer, NASCAR and TV. So I leave you with this La Crosse car folks:

Friday, July 3, 2009

How much do you love a Friday?

Project for the weekend - Go through the staggering amount of material possesions that seem to accumulate and hide in every nook and crany of a household. Garage sale? Nope. Donate, yes. Oh the humanity! Why in the world do I own a potato ricer? I mean, I had to ask someone what the heck the thing was, just to realize I own a potato ricer. Drawer by drawer, box by box, I aim to pare down the clutter and distraction that permeates my household. I found a remarkable tool to aid in this process, found it with a google search, printed it out and I hold it up in front of whatever item I find that raises even the slightest question in my mind.
The big thing here, to me, is to just let go. There is the philanthropic side of donating to local charities, and I sincerely hope these things go to those in need. There has been suffering, and difficult times in the past, and there will no doubt be more in the future. As tough as things can be, somebody somewhere is eating a bigger shit sandwich than you, which as a humanitarian whole really sucks. As an act of patriotism, instead of firing a weapon, do a good deed for a fellow American. Peace and prosperity America, happy birthday.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Minds in Motion demise

Rode the MIM on Saturday, June 20th. What a friggin disappointment. Everything was a watered down version of years past. No media coverage, roadies throwing their precious "energy pack" trash all over the place, a freakin juggler as entertainment. Watched Harvey blow his cool with S&S Cycles, Blue Heron Bikes, and generally stomp around like a pissed off mother. What a dick. I think next year I'll save the day for a nice joy ride and forego the debacle I witnessed this year. I dont even have a photo to post. What a waste of time.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Back in the saddle, a new normal.

Great ride last night with the group. Mid to North to Mid to South to Mid. End at the Bodega . Rain at 10:30pm, home by 10:47pm. Riding home through the night, headlamp shining against raindrops, tires hissing along the wet pavement. The trees created a green tunnel like effect. Late in the evening, raining, tired of trying to keep face riding with the young pups, dogs waiting at home and I really didn't feel like ending the ride. But all good things must come to an end. Glad for friends, bikes, and Wisconsin weather. Oh, and I found this sign today at one of our institutions of higher learning. Really progressive. KV for the day: "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The passing of the storm, the flight of a dove

Went on my first Wednesday night ride in over a year last night. Turned off my cell phone, there would be no emergency. Relaxed my mind, nothing was urgent. Looked at the faces of friends, listened to their stories. Reconnected.
Had a good ride, moved at a fast pace. Felt the threading of the needle with traffic, the mojo was good. Bike was alive and the wind urged me forward. As we mashed up the Cass Street bridge towards Pettibone Park, the sun was setting behind the bluffs, low clouds. Two riders in front of me, cadence clicking as ten riders fall into unspoken rhythm towards the top. The summit reached, left shoulder protected from the onrush of traffic by steel and concrete, the right shoulder feels a presence, a voice, "our pain is over, ride and live".
In memory of my beautiful wife, friend, and riding partner Lisa Kay Selph. Born 9-26-62, relieved of her pain on Tuesday 6-09-09 at 8:42am. Her last ride, 2 years ago, after 8 years of fighting the cancer. Still smiling and strong. My girl.

Friday, June 5, 2009

More and more means less

Interesting that as more people choose to ride, commute, shop, and generally live by bike, the incidence of car/bike collisions decreases. Familiarity I suppose. I cant tell you how many times I have had a car stop in the opposing lane with no stop sign and attempt to wave me across. I am at the stop sign, they have the right of way. They think they are doing a good thing I'm sure, but in point of fact they are creating a hazard. All any bicyclist really wants is to be seen as an equal. Same road, same rules.
Photo of the party, parking is in the garage. Bikes Limited, Blue Heron crews made an appearance. Had some mighty good conversations about tubing, stems, crank arm length. You know, the usual geek out that happens when 15 or so bikers get together. It was a wonderful event.
Getting ready for a multiple overnighter, maybe a Reedsburg to Trempeleau kinda deal. Good time of year, not too many bugs or Chicagoans.
KV for the day - "If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The good in La Crosse

So I'm coming home from work, a little early, and here is Momma herding her flock home. I rolled past and then had the thought. You know, the nagging thought that you just went pass something that mattered, and you should stop and take it in. So I did.
I watched as the crossing guard blew his whistle, and the Mother checked both ways even so. The children filed out onto the crosswalk, one child always managing to be behind everyone. Mom looks back, child goes forward. They are almost across the walk when the first car in line starts honking. Cigarette in hand, radio blaring overly produced Nashville detritus, bad dye job hair head older woman glaring angrily and gritting her teeth in tense anger. Mad because some toddler is taking too long. Hope she gets a blood disease and dies. Whatta bitch. As soon as the crossing guard drops the sign, she roars off in the car, screeching tires and muttering curses. The crossing guard got a look on his face that made me wonder what the look was all about. I asked. He told me that the lady comes by every day, always in a hurry, always foul and ill tempered.
So there before me was this cool little play on life, spirituality, and wisdom. The mother, always protecting and guiding. Cool headed and patient. Buddha, protecting from afar, watching without comment. There for the same repeat of events every school day, watching growth and learning by some, and blind self concern by others. Is it better to see life as a landscape or a macro? Or do you carry a few lenses with you? KV for the day "Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

Saturday, May 30, 2009

That's Mr. 530 to you....

May 30th, 1961. I remember hanging upside down, covered in blood. I was scared, cold, angry. A large man dressed in white and covering his face was beating me on my ass. I let out a scream. He quit hitting me. Knives, scissors. Passed to a woman. Something shoved in my nose. WTF! The horror, the horror.
My father predicted I would be born on May 30th. At that time in Texas, you could request only numbers as personalized on license plates. So, 530. The plate arrived as MR-530. A boy perhaps? Kinda cool. Pictured next to the plate is my favorite buddy from years long past. His name is Tom.
Friends and relatives are throwing a party, my brother Russ is coming in from San Francisco. A lot of love and friendship for today. It's all very cool. I am a lucky human being. Health, friends, employment, Obama, there is but one thing not right in the world today.
I promised myself I would never mention this in my blog, but I feel I must. My lovely wife, my friend, my partner and my foil, has been fighting cancer for ten years now. We are both very tired. She is trying so hard today to be energetic, and positive. The pain she endures on a daily basis is staggering. It sickens me to watch her struggle. And yet it fills me with pride to see the sharp edge still in her beautiful eyes. On this day, do this for me, go to the one you love and hold them. Take one short moment to take them in, and appreciate the fragility and immediacy of the life we are given.
And look out for old people who drive. Scary shit.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

"Escalades are practical when you’re so far removed from the effort of living, that you can believe anything." Gnome
I met a young man outside of People's Food yesterday. Grimy, but healthy. Shabby and smiling. He had a total POS single speed bike with bullhorns, one brake, 23mm tires. TT and DT almost paintless from years of scratching. He was standing in the shelter of the canopy to avoid the rain, and nursing the tail end of a doob. He was very interested in my Big Dummy, and I admit I looked to see if my bags had been touched. Asked some very techy questions about frame flex, load capacity, parts availability on the road. He was under the impression I was touring, but I assured him I was just doing a grocery run.
Now this is where it gets interesting. He is from Ontario Canada. He is traveling. Yes, traveling. Not to anywhere. Just traveling. He had no backpack, no spare parts, just a cellphone and cargo pants with some xtra socks. He had wintered in Vermont, doing odd jobs and sleeping in the back of a restaraunt. One day, the weather channel said it would be 30 degrees and sunny. Perfect day to get over the mountain pass. So he just left, and went, and arrived somewhere else. And that led him to here, and tomorrow he will be on his way to Chicago. Why? To check out the bike scene.
I stood in rapt attention, living my own great escape through his words and the animated flash of his face as he told stories from the road. He would hop a train southbound tonight, check out Madison and then head for Chicago. I asked him if he had eaten lately, and his immediate response was "Thanks, but when I need things they show up." Geez. I offered to wrench his bike quick and tighten his chain tension, which he accepted. While I was doing that, I slipped a $20 into his seat bag. I truly dont believe the guy would have taken it. I hope he accepts it in the spirit intended. He put the lust for adventure back into my heart, made me young and brazen for a few minutes as I listened to his exploits and plans. Had I been in a hurry, driving in my insular petroleum conveyence, I would have missed it all. Rock on bicycles, and all who roll with them.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Rainy day, Mellow all over.

The first two consecutive days off I've had in weeks and I'll be darned but I'm too tired to enjoy them. As an exercise in positive thinking, the rainy weather is a blessing in disguise. Lisa often says that I stay in motion from early to late, and rarely just relax and take it easy. So I say ipso facto declaro chill day.
While going through old photos, I found this of a local lady who takes her birds for a ride every day weather permitting during the temperate seasons. Neat lady, talked to her about her birds for awhile. Slow it down a notch, talk to a stranger. Hard for me to do sometimes, but I'm rarely disappointed with the results.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Deer in the headlights

Amazing how attitudes change when the camera comes out. "Just be here for two minutes". As though I had the ability to excuse a parking violation. What you dont see is the bicyclist just ahead of me who swerved out into traffic to go around Mr. 2minutes, and then back into the bike lane. Problably a nice guy. Just seriously uncool.

Live and learn, forget, relearn, repeat.

So the tires Kevin set me up with were the Schwalbe 2.3" Fat Franks. Touted as low rolling resistance, high shock absorbtion, puncture and pinch flat resistant. OK. I compared them to a set of WTB Allterrainasuaras tires at 1.95, and smaller OD. Guess which tires gave the best performance as per rolling resistance? Fat Frank, by a landslide. Just goes to show you that if your LBS main man says "Go with these, you'll be happier.", it is then your responsibility to shut up and listen.
The decision to go with a 20" frame over 22" has proven to be a good one. The only concession has been the use of a 130mm stem to provide the reach necessary for using Nitto North Road bars flipped. I wish someone would create a bar that has the forward reach of a mustache bar, and the rear extension of either the North Roads, or Albatross bar. Market penetration would be like, maybe .01%. Well worth the tool and die effort.
Memorial day is upon us, ride safe, grill twice, have a cool beverage.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Quote of the diem

"The only difference between a rut and a grave is dimensions" - Anon

Well thats not very deep. Bicycles rooted in practicality and useful design fascinate me more than the current fixed gear trend. Load carrying capacity and daily transport are becoming the most important factors to my biking endeavors. I have circled the flame of the Surly Big Dummy for quite awhile, and decided to make the move. Kevin at Blue Heron Bikes did the build.
Yesterday I went from La Crosse to Onalaska, visited the LBS (Blue Heron) and on the way home failed to turn right. With a smile on my face, and full water bottles I headed for Sparta, 23 miles away. 83 degrees, sunny, breezy, no rain forecast. The bike was smooth as butter. Predictable handling, long wheelbase, and well tuned, the miles ticked away unnoticed. The only "sore point" was my taint, which was being beaten into submission by a new Brooks B-17 saddle. Half way to Sparta the saddle and my nether region came to an agreement, and the rest of the ride was pleasurable and peaceful.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sweet Monday

Well there it goes. Monday has reared it's ugly head, run past me, and is now on the way out the door. Morning bike commute started with a fat sheriff cutting me off at Hwy B as he rolled past the stop, and at the last second looked up to see me mouthing the word "What the @$#%?" at him. He looked at me as though he found annoyance with the inconvienience of not running me over, waved me ever so graciously out into traffic to make it around him, and then roared off. Couldn't even back up to let me onto the crosswalk and bike lane. Protect and serve my ass. Another two year degree redneck rascist prick with a gun no doubt.

A heads up for anyone using the upper road (Hwy 16) from La Crosse to Onalaska. Seems the college kids must have had a bottle throwing fit along the bike path. Lots of broken glass. Great for new tire sales, bad for being to work on time. Check out DC for some scary stats on bike fatalities - Makes me feel bony all over.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I imagine the purpose of this blog will morph over time. Right now, it's all about the heady enjoyment of a new Wisconsin Spring. Newfound energy abounds. What was once cast aside as a cold February musing is now thrown on the hotlist of "to do's".
The Krietler rollers have been stored away for another 3 seasons, the harem of bikes is tuned to perfection, oiled, pawls clicking merrily on freehubs and cassettes. Fixed gear bike slides by silently in the cover of a night ride, no lights. Each errand becomes one more excuse to ride.
Not that there wasn't plenty of riding during the winter months, but let's face it, gimme a 50 degree day over 10 anytime. Safer, faster, funner.